Edub speaks : 9 days til departure
August/14/2007 Filed in: visions | pyramid project
This is
Burning Man and
I have really enjoyed it so far. It began 6 months ago on the
Burnal Equinox mixing music with DJ Playaduster at Sunnyland.
Since that time the Three have brainstormed, dreamed,
conspired, built, crafted, changed direction, fallen apart and put
the pieces back together again. The puzzle looks nothing like
it did when we began, but that has been another part of the
creative journey. I have no doubt that it will continue to
transform until we ourselves no longer resemble the beings we were
in the beginning.
I am so looking forward to that transformation. I am anxious to be wrapped in my cocoon of dust, sunlight, sound, creativity and humanity on the edge. I anticipate uncomfortable friction as I try to fit into this wide open new space. How can I exist in a space with no boundaries? Who will emerge? These are but two questions among the myriad that churn through my mind touching on topics from personal health and safety, to camp community building, to mind altering substances. There are very few answers forthcoming. A voice in the back of my head says “you just have to be there.” Right now, that’s the problem. My mind is there, racing toward the Burn and exploring the empty streets of Black Rock City, at the expense of my present moment awareness.
I don’t recall how long it has been since I have experienced this kind of lack of presence. I value and actively practice being present to the moment – living in the Now. But with 18 days until the Burn and 9 days until we leave, I am totally fixated on the future. My work has become a nuisance to me; my schedule, a tether; my day-to-day responsibilities, inconveniences. It really is all about the Burn – now more than ever.
“I just have to…and I’ll be done.” I’ve hear myself say this a lot - so has my wife. Neither of us believes it anymore. Last time I said this she replied, “You won’t be done until September when it’s over.” I wonder if I’ll be done then. Somehow I doubt it.
Despite having worked diligently over the past few months building, gathering and preparing, I feel frantic in these final days as I try to pull all of the threads together. Mental, physical, spiritual and emotional preparation is coming together, but I feel as if I am watching an hour glass, sifting grain by grain counting down to my leap into the rabbit hole. I’m ready. There are still lots of details to finalize, but I’m ready. Soon come!
~Edub
I am so looking forward to that transformation. I am anxious to be wrapped in my cocoon of dust, sunlight, sound, creativity and humanity on the edge. I anticipate uncomfortable friction as I try to fit into this wide open new space. How can I exist in a space with no boundaries? Who will emerge? These are but two questions among the myriad that churn through my mind touching on topics from personal health and safety, to camp community building, to mind altering substances. There are very few answers forthcoming. A voice in the back of my head says “you just have to be there.” Right now, that’s the problem. My mind is there, racing toward the Burn and exploring the empty streets of Black Rock City, at the expense of my present moment awareness.
I don’t recall how long it has been since I have experienced this kind of lack of presence. I value and actively practice being present to the moment – living in the Now. But with 18 days until the Burn and 9 days until we leave, I am totally fixated on the future. My work has become a nuisance to me; my schedule, a tether; my day-to-day responsibilities, inconveniences. It really is all about the Burn – now more than ever.
“I just have to…and I’ll be done.” I’ve hear myself say this a lot - so has my wife. Neither of us believes it anymore. Last time I said this she replied, “You won’t be done until September when it’s over.” I wonder if I’ll be done then. Somehow I doubt it.
Despite having worked diligently over the past few months building, gathering and preparing, I feel frantic in these final days as I try to pull all of the threads together. Mental, physical, spiritual and emotional preparation is coming together, but I feel as if I am watching an hour glass, sifting grain by grain counting down to my leap into the rabbit hole. I’m ready. There are still lots of details to finalize, but I’m ready. Soon come!
~Edub
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